A Scorned Lover’s Lament

After President Obama was elected back in 2008, I made a concerted effort to put a good distance between me and politics. It was like an abusive relationship. I was so in love, but politics inevitably made me into an unlikable person. Even when it donned that French Maid outfit and said all those naughty things I loved hear, I looked at my reflection in the mirror and was horrified by what my lusting affair with politics had made me become. I was a broken man.

Over the past five years, I’ve done everything I could to get away from that self-destructive lifestyle. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t check up on my old mistress from time to time. I watched from afar, knowingly, as my old temptress brought old friends to her bed. I did what I could to warn them, but I knew that perfume all too well and know what it does to one’s mind.

What I’ve learned is that politics is a very old mistress – something akin to a vampire; No, not a vampire in the Stephanie Myers-influenced nonsense, but a beast straight out of the tomes of Ann Rice. This creature has been around for centuries – feeding on her victims as the penultimate result of long, quiet, inescapable seduction. And much like a vampire, you cannot kill what is already corporeally dead.

Truth be told, I don’t necessarily want to end politics. Perhaps it’s the spousal abuse talking, or perhaps I’ve watched Return of the Jedi too many times, but I know there’s good in her. When you break it down to the basics, the word politics comes from the Latin word polis, which means “people”. And that’s what politics is supposed to be – the people making laws for the betterment of all. And, really, how can one not fall in love with such a vision?

In light of my mistress’s latest activities, I’m formally throwing my hat back into to the ring. So expect a bit more out of me in the coming days and weeks.