{"id":181,"date":"2016-05-17T06:36:50","date_gmt":"2016-05-17T12:36:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/smirkingcynic.com\/?p=181"},"modified":"2016-05-17T06:37:09","modified_gmt":"2016-05-17T12:37:09","slug":"mid-life-crisis-candidate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/smirkingcynic.com\/?p=181","title":{"rendered":"Mid-Life Crisis Candidate"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ever since I was younger I wanted a motorcycle. It wasn&#8217;t a need, but more of an passing interest. I have had a long history of those and have been prudent, I think, in if\/how I indulge them. Having a motorcycle always took the back seat, so to speak &#8212; especially when I had children and kissed anything resembling discretionary spending goodbye. I didn&#8217;t have time or money.<\/p>\n<p>Last year I finally decided that I had waited long enough. I enrolled for a motorcycle learning course and passed my written exam a mere two days before it started. I rode a bicycle when I was a kid (equipped with playing cards to simulate the engine sound more than once), and I even had a four-wheeler when I was a teenager, so it wasn&#8217;t much of a jump to get the hang of things. By the time I had passed my license test, it was a matter of weeks before I had managed to get my very own little Honda Shadow Spirit VT1100C. I named it Caboose after a favorite <em><a href=\"http:\/\/roosterteeth.com\/show\/red-vs-blue\" target=\"_blank\">Red vs. Blue<\/a><\/em> character. Last summer I put on about 1900 miles on Caboose. To my great joy, I&#8217;ve found that being on a motorcycle can be a very zen experience. Also, you simply cannot beat the unspoken camaraderie that exists between fellow riders. <!--more--><\/p>\n<p>I managed to make it through the winter with only a few whiny moments about missing my motorcycle. As soon as it was arguably warm enough to ride this year, I got Caboose ready. I even managed to change the oil all by myself. For those unfamiliar with me, this is an event that much like Obama&#8217;s dropping of the Cuban embargo. I took this moment as some rite of passage &#8212; a machine made me care enough about its welfare that I actively learned how to maintain it by my own accord and careful research. Since then I&#8217;ve been picking up odds and ends for it. I picked up some saddlebags, which in turn has me picking up a taillight relocation kit. Seriously, don&#8217;t ask me about this stuff because it&#8217;s eating up my precious and dwindling unused grey matter like a starving dog.<\/p>\n<p>Another thing is that I&#8217;ve been highly conscious of is safety. Specifically, keeping the thing that encases my grey matter safe. There were a great number of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.startribune.com\/riding-season-far-from-over-but-minnesota-motorcycle-deaths-close-to-toll-for-all-of-2014\/320631902\/\" target=\"_blank\">motorcycle deaths last year<\/a>, and nearly every story had a similar theme: No helmet. There&#8217;s a reason, I suppose, that the insurance industry refers to them as &#8220;donorcycles&#8221;. I&#8217;m not lining up to be a statistic. Go full Power Ranger or go home. However, there is something to be said for wearing full leather in 90-degree heat. So I&#8217;ve been experimenting with various clothing combinations to see what works. After a great deal of trying this and that, I&#8217;ve found that there is a reason that bikers wear vests. Christ, if I could wear this thing all the time, I would.<\/p>\n<p>Now let&#8217;s add the final layer&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>My daughter got me involved in <em>Sons of Anarchy<\/em> on NetFlix a few weeks ago. If you had just met me, you&#8217;d quickly come to the same conclusion that my Ex did: Holy fucking mid-life crisis, Batman. I&#8217;m really not sure about that diagnosis, but it&#8217;s hard to completely discount it. While I can vehemently deny that <em>Sons<\/em> didn&#8217;t cause my new-found love of riding, there are compelling arguments that it&#8217;s fed it richly.<\/p>\n<p>So am I having a mid-life crisis? It&#8217;s honestly hard for me to say. I&#8217;m going to be 42 in less than a month and I think that qualifies as mid-life. But I really don&#8217;t see it as a crisis. If anything it&#8217;s been a salvation. It&#8217;s the cheapest therapy I&#8217;ve ever had and far more effective. My brother rides, but our time spent together is sporadic. So last week I made the jump to join a motorcycle club.<\/p>\n<p>Now is when your mid-life crisis detector should be going off the charts. I can hear you from here, mumbling under your breath, &#8220;Poor guy&#8230;&#8221; I assure you that, one, as the evidence mounts I&#8217;m fully cognizant that I&#8217;m losing any hopes of defending myself against the charge, but it should be noted that this is a very recreational club. My only goal is to meet a lot of other riders and go on some rides. To my knowledge they&#8217;re not running guns or coke. But keep in mind that none of my close friends ride, so I&#8217;m just waiting patiently for them to have their own mid-life crises and gently steer them to riding. Until that happens, I need to find out where this road takes me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ever since I was younger I wanted a motorcycle. It wasn&#8217;t a need, but more of an passing interest. I have had a long history of those and have been prudent, I think, in if\/how I indulge them. Having a motorcycle always took the back seat, so to speak &#8212; especially when I had children and kissed anything resembling discretionary &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-home-life","category-motorcycles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/smirkingcynic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/smirkingcynic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/smirkingcynic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smirkingcynic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smirkingcynic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=181"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/smirkingcynic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":184,"href":"http:\/\/smirkingcynic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181\/revisions\/184"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/smirkingcynic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smirkingcynic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smirkingcynic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}